My 29 year old daughter who has been married for 10 years won't speak to me because?

Well, the situation was definitely inappropriate but I certainly don't think that you're the only one at fault. First of all, being one-on-one with ANYONE'S husband/boyfriend etc. is never a good idea (unless maybe he's gay). I understand letting him come over, after all, he's family... but drinking together and especially getting drunk is a very bad idea. Your biggest mistake (besides what I've already mentioned) is that you reciprocated. It'd be one thing if you told him to get away and made it clear that what he was doing was not ok... I can't say I blame your daughter for being upset... she feels betrayed by both of you but maybe more by you since he told her what happened and you didn't. Any way you slice it, it's a crappy situation... Hopefully you will be able to talk to her eventually but obviously she will need a lot of time to cool off. Good luck... next time try to make the boundaries a little clearer and don't get drunk!